Writing Treatmens That Sell (with Chi-Li Wong) Authors' Message What is a Treatment? Script Example Screenplay Example Sample Chapter

:::.............................. SCREENPLAY EXAMPLE Type of Material: Screenplay Title: Puppet on a String Number of Pages: Author: Ken Atchity and Alex Viespi Publisher/Date: Submitted to: Circa: Present Location: San Francisco Analyst: Category: Thriller Date: Elements: LOG LINE: When T.V.'s most popular talk show host marries the love of his now perfect life, a diabolical kidnapper turns his dream to a nightmare. Short Synopsis: ARLO BARRETT is a charismatic wunderkind; the popular host of a TV. talk show called "Barrett on the Money." A savvy real estate mega-mogul, he flies his own jet, buys hotels and has the world eating out of his palm. His best friend and fellow Vietnam survivor is CHARLIE WIGGINS, Chief of the San Francisco Police Department in the throes of an unwanted, painful divorce. A perennial bachelor, Barrett finally discovers the true love of his life in CHLOE RODIN. Beautiful, intelligent, talented, witty and kind. She's perfect! Except that she's diabetic and requires regular shots of insulin. Soon after their fairy-tale wedding and honeymoon they receive the best news of all, Chloe is pregnant. Their life is now the fulfillment of his dreams. As Chloe leaves the doctor's office she disappears. That evening Barrett has invited his buddy Charlie to their home to commiserate with him about his martial problems. Anxious about Chloe who should have been home hours ago he tries to concentrate on his friend. The phone rings. He leaps to answer. A bizarre metallic voice, mechanically produced informs Barrett that "they" have his wife. If he fails in anyway to meet their demands, she dies. The unlikely pair of kidnappers are WAYNE LITTREL, a huge, ex-convict, rapist-killer and KARL REIS, a taut, wiry man, slight of build and devoid of blood. He manages through wit and the force of his diabolical personality to dominate and control Wayne. Barrett hears the harrowing news with Charlie in the next room. He pretends that Chloe is stuck at her friends' place with a car that won't start. He gets rid of Charlie. Alone at home he realize the full impact of what has occurred. He sees his entire existence begin to disintegrate. Instead of his usual position as the man in power he is now a puppet who performs according to the whims of his "master." Among the staff of Barrett's TV. show are: Associate Producer KATHERINE BELLAMY, efficient, intelligent, a nervous chronic smoker, CALVIN, the Director, a tense young man who seems to harbor a thinly veiled inexplicable antagonism toward "the Boss," and YVONNE, Barrett's make-up woman, with whom he enjoys an easy joke telling familiarity. Barrett is forced to face his associates, his friends and his millions of adoring viewers as if nothing were wrong. The kidnappers instruct him to deliver half the ransom, two and half million dollars to a locker in a train station. He does. Then the kidnappers demand that he embarrass himself on his TV. show. He begins to comply but doesn't. Upon his arrival home his hopes are raised by the presence of Chloe's car in the garage. She's nowhere to be found. A phone call from Karl tells him to go to Chloe's car, to open the glove box. He finds a jewelry box containing Chloe's finger--still wearing her diamond ring. Barrett's punishment for not complying. Next day Barrett embarrasses himself on TV. with a confession of an affair that resulted in a pregnancy which he forced the woman to abort. Network executives yank his how off the air. Next Karl forces Barrett to fly his jet, set a collision course and bail out. He does. Karl allows Chloe to witness the plane crash from afar. She is led to believe that Barrett died in the plane. Later she learns the truth of Karl's cruel joke. At Barrett's house during a visit from Charlie seeking aid and comfort, Charlie's investigative instincts make him suspicious of Barrett's response when he asks where Chloe is. Barrett gets a call from Karl. Charlie listens on an extension. He confronts Barrett who finally gives in and tells all. Charlie goes into action. Forensics processes Chloe's car and take evidence to Police Lab. Chloe wakens to discover that as a result of her diabetic condition, a retinal artery has ruptured and left her totally blind. Karl calls and instructs Barrett to deliver the final ransom installment. Barrett with Charlie following, drives to a warehouse on a dock. With Karl gone to the phone Wayne attempts to satisfy his long-standing lust for Chloe. In a frenzied desperate rage she blindly stabs Wayne in the eye with a pen and escapes from the motor home that has become her prison. Wayne in a tormented fury chases her through the darkened streets. Charlie arrives at the empty motor-home and takes off after Chloe and Wayne. Karl meanwhile collects the money from Barrett and disappears leaving Barrett to wait for yet another phone call. Charlie is spotted by Wayne and shot. Wounded, he falls. Barrett comes at the gallop and kills Wayne saving Chloe. Charlie dies in their arms. A surgical procedure restores Chloe's sight. Her pregnancy is safe. Barrett's show is back on the air but we still don't know where Karl is or why his satisfaction seems to come more from his power over Barrett than the five million dollars he got. Katherine Bellamy tells Barrett she is leaving his show and San Francisco to pursue a dream to live by a lake in a small town. She asks him to meet her for a parting drink. Barrett confesses to Chloe that Katherine is the woman he forced to abort their child five years ago. He has never really apologized and would like to. Chloe assents. When Barrett, trailed by a stake-out detective, arrives at Katherine's house. He finds the entire floor covered in $100 bills--the last ransom payment of $2-1/2 million. Katherine is seated holding a silencer-equipped pistol on Barrett as she watches him put the pieces together. He is totally incredulous as she reveals just how psychotic she is and to what extent he has destroyed her life. She tells him that she's going to kill him and then herself. She has no reason or desire to live. Barrett prepares to die. She holds the gun on him and at the last second turns it on herself and fires. COMMENT: Barrett is a well-drawn multifaceted character. Aggressive and dynamic, indeed overpowering and yet in the presence of Chloe he becomes a high school boy on his first date. At first his machismo would seem to warrant more direct action at the news of Chloe's kidnapping but it soon becomes clear that he's caught in a dilemma that renders him totally helpless. He loses his identity when everything that defines him becomes irrelevant. His marriage to Chloe is romantic, sensual, ideal and believable. It overflows with love, genuine passionate love. This not a kitchen-sink drama. Charlie is a tough but oh-so-gentle bulldog. The disintegration of his marriage plays a poignant counterpoint to the joyous beginnings of Barrett's and Chloe's marriage. He's a warm, loyal, likable and courageous friend. When Charlie confronts Barrett with his knowledge of Chloe's whereabouts and Barrett finally relents we see the depth of their love and trust in each other. Barrett for a touching moment becomes the little boy totally dependent on his "Big brother." The plot may profit from an additional twist or two but this is a tense psychological suspense peopled with well sculpted characters. This story has the potential for super star casting and commercial success.