The Love Thing - Bedroom Games Reprinted from canoe.ca Don  Join Marlo and I with special guest, ex-stripper and author, Mary Taylor who has written a book about learning to do strip teases for your partner. Its called Bedroom Games and its hot! Marlo  Hey there everyone! Thanks for coming out! Well be starting in just a few minutes! Don  Hi Everybody and welcome to the Love Thing. Today we have a special guest in the studio, Mary Taylor, author and former exotic dancer. We will be giving away some stuff, so send in your email address for a chance to win prizes  we wont let your address appear on the screen. Mary Taylor has lived a fascinating life. Don  She began stripping at 19. She was already the divorced mother of one and looking for a way to earn more money for her struggling household. She stayed in the business for TWENTY-ONE YEARS! After leaving it behind she embarked on a career teaching others the secrets of her trade, through her company, LiveGirl Productions. She has produced a video, The Art of Seduction and a CD, The Sounds of Seduction. Mary has also taught Peel and Play workshops on striptease. Don  Her latest venture is Bedroom Games, a book that teaches the erotic techniques of striptease for the ordinary woman, that gives them the same seductive power of an exotic dancer. Mary, welcome to The Love Thing. Mary  Hello Everyone!Nice to be here. Marlo  Mary - so good of you to join us today - and what an exciting life youve lead! At the beginning of your book, you mention that every women at one time or another has fantasized about doing a striptease - though I disagree with the comment, I was wondering if you had any words of encouragement for the women that do fantasize about it on how to break from the fantasy and turn it into reality. Mary  I think that what all women need to know is that it can be a very scarry thing to take your clothes off in front of one man or hundreds of men. My intention is to assist women that are interested in doing a performance by eliminating their fears and putting them to rest. dan  what about the lifestyle?? Mary  The lifestyle can be very difficult on dancers that are in the industry today. It has deteriorated so that the art form is gone. ALmost like "From Stage Play to Foreplay" in public. Too bad! dan  i just want her to do it though... shes a little reserved.. Mary  The fact that YOU want her to do it is not enough. SHE has to want to do it. Otherwise it could be a disaster. For her. shygirl  How do I build up the nerve. i want to, think i can do it, but then chicken out. Mary  By feeling comfortable with what you are actually doing helps a lot in your performance. My book Bedroom Games helps you address all the issues that come up. For example: Fear. This is a big issue and it is very helpful to find out what it is that you are afraid of. Such as: What if he laughs at me? What if I fall on my butt? What if I cant stop laughing. Once you find out Why we do what we do, it get easier. And... practice, practice, practice. By yourself at first. Don  I want to know about the stripping life. An exotic dancer is a fantasy in some peoples eyes, while in other peoples eyes, it is barely acceptable. Also, we associate it with a nasty lifestyle, drugs, crime, pimps etc. How did you survive, let alone propser? Mary  Unfortunately, this business had deteriorated in the past 15 years. It used to be that dancers got paid very good money to do performances on stage and had little or no contact with the audience. Now, dancers have to pay the clubs if they want to work and they are in constant contact with the patrons at very close range. This has caused women to resort to higher drug use and many prostitutes have come off the street to dance in clubs because it is easier on them. Joe  How hard is it to maintain a relationship while in the industry? Mary  It is nearly impossible to maintain a relationship while dancing and even harder once you have left the business. The clientelle that you associate with on a day-to-day basis are only thinking of you in one way and women need so much more. Most men cannot tollerate the jobs of exotic dancers Marlo  Mary - you mention fear - fear of falling on your butt, laughing to much ... what about body image? Mary  Body image is very important but not as in HOW YOU LOOK. More about HOW YOU FEEL. For example: when I used to dance in the 80s I had small breasts 32A to be exact. I found it difficult to compete with the double Ds until I realized that I was a lot more entertaining than they were. I had to compensate with my personality and my humor on stage. Once I did that, I beat them all out of the water. After all, men love being pampered and entertainet. They are very easy to amuze. Michelle  Mary, what would you do if you had a daughter who wanted to go into the business? Mary  I would do everything in power to have her choose an alternative carreer. And have her see other opions. If you had asked me that in 1980, I would have said it was a great business. Don  Obviously, the moves you make on stage are what we call art - did you ever find that your dancing was underappreciated by those in the audience who just want to see some flesh - how did you deal with it? Mary  The only time I felt bad about what I did was when the lap dancing came out. My performances on stage were always apreciated and I had a following of people that would come in to the clubs just to see me. When the lap dancing came out, no one wanted to see dancers on stage, they just wanted them in the dark VIP rooms   Did your family and your child know how it was that you earned your money? Mary  My family did not know what I did for a living until after I made a choice to leave. Many dancers feel so bad about what they do because of the stigma attached to the job that they dont even tell their doctors and also have difficulty in getting bank loans and credit cards for fear of rejection once people find out. This makes it difficult for them to get the suppor they need. Socrates  Mary - what do you miss most about the industry... if anything? Mary  I miss the performances on stage the most. I miss watching other dancers perform fabulous shows that are entertaining (even for women to watch) I miss that the dancers are not getting paid the appropriate amount of money for what they have to do now. And I miss the costumes and the commerodery that used to exist in the change-rooms when all dancers were performers. Marlo  Mary - in your book you talk about making your own costumes - could you tell some of our viewers what sort of things they can use that they may already have around the house. Mary  My books suggests not only ideas on how to make your own costumes but also how to put a whole show together by choosing the right music or songs and how to actually set the stage. It also talks about breaking the bedroom habbit and exploring other areas to "Play" in. Its really about having fun in a relationship Don  Twenty-one years in the business seems like a long time. I would think that, like a hockey player, once you hit 29, youre days are numbered. How did you last so long with young and pretty girls coming up from the farm teams every year? Mary  I was lucky that I still looked good by the time I was ready to retire (so to speak) but many times it is sad because the older women in the industry have no other resourses and it becomes very difficult to get out of once you become addicted to the money and the lifestyle. I chose to get out and was very clear that it would be difficult transition. Some of these women are not that strong KL  Im pretty clutzy but want to give this a try for my boy. What are the best moves to start with, and what should I avoid? Mary  Simple moves like in chapte nine such as "Stir the Pot" and "Boobs on Bob" "The Queens Wave" and we cant forget about "Playing with your boobs". These are very simple techniques I had to find easy-to-remember names for them but they really work. And my advice is this... If you forget what to do just "stir the pot" and "play with your boobs." Pam  Did u enjoy guys watching you all the time? Mary  It wasnt really about men watching me all the time. It was more about the energy that I got from entertaining on stage. I loved it. I loved the performing and I loved that I was entertaing and that people (mostly men) enjoyed my shows Kara  Ive never stripped before but was thinking of giving my boyfriend a private little show in his bedroom. Do you have any song suggestions? Mary  The songs would depend on what kind of costume you are wearing. You dont want to be dressed in leather and whips and dance to "Like a Virgin" by Madonne. You will have to decide if you want to dance to a dominating set or something more submissive in peaches and pastels. Chapter 7 is great for ideas on costuming and music. James  What do you think of the guys who fall in love with strippers and think they can save them or whatever? Mary  GET HELP! YOu cannot save a stripper, she probably only wants you MONEY that is what is keeping her there. Paul  Hi Mary, Are your pro shops like listening to a lecture or is there interaction with our partners? Mary  My workshops are for women. We talk about everything mentioned in the book i.e. fear, constant complaints, what to wear, etc and then half way through, we actually do hands-on- learning the moves in chapter 9 and 10. I do this for Bridal Stagettes and Homeparties (More fun than tupperware) and through workshops. The workshops are 3 hours and the Home Parties and Stagettes are 1 1/2 hours Don  Tell about the transition from a stripper to a businesswoman - what went through your mind - what made you go into the adult products business? Didnt you ever want to leave it all behind and raise Jack Russells in the country? And besides knowing the moves, is there anything you learned from stripping that helps you as a businesswoman? Like having self-confidence? Mary  The transition was the most difficult part. Once I had made the decision to exit the industry I found it hard to even think about getting a job. What was I going to put on a resume? who would hire me? I barely knew how to use a computer at that time. Dancing was all I knew. I had huge support from my family once I told them that I wanted to leave. I never wanted to raise Jack Russels, infact, I never even wanted pets but now I live in the country on 1 1/4 acre property with a beautiful 8 year old German Sheppard named Keetah. JS  I have a girlfriend who is an exotic dancer. Shes